We are all here to walk each other home

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

The Paradox of Selfishness and Personal Obligation

Selfishness and personal obligation seem to be at odds with each other, yet they are deeply intertwined in our daily lives. On the surface, selfishness carries a negative connotation, often associated with self-centeredness and a lack of concern for others. On the other hand, personal obligation reflects a sense of responsibility and duty towards others. This paradox invites us to explore the nuanced relationship between the two and how they shape our interactions and decisions.

Understanding Selfishness

Selfishness, when manifested in its extreme form, can indeed be detrimental. It can lead to exploitation, disregard for others' well-being, and a narrow focus on one's own desires. I believe many examples of this form are on display everyday across the whole spectrum, from personal encounters, behaviour of our elected leaders and world events. However, a closer examination reveals that a degree of selfishness is inherent in human nature. It is a fundamental aspect of self-preservation and self-care. We all have legitimate needs and desires, and acknowledging and addressing them is essential for our well-being.

The Balance of Personal Obligation

On the opposite end of the spectrum, personal obligation calls for individuals to consider the needs and welfare of others. Whether it's fulfilling familial duties, contributing to the community, or supporting friends in times of need, personal obligation fosters interconnectedness and empathy. It cultivates a sense of shared responsibility and encourages individuals to look beyond their own interests.

Navigating the Intersection

The relationship between selfishness and personal obligation becomes particularly complex when we consider how they intersect in various contexts. In personal relationships, for instance, individuals must balance pursuing their own goals and aspirations with supporting their partners and loved ones. In professional settings, employees need to advance their careers while also collaborating with colleagues and contributing to the organization's success.

Cultivating a Healthy Balance

Striking a balance between selfishness and personal obligation is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. It requires introspection and a keen awareness of one's motives and the impact of their actions. Cultivating empathy and considering the perspectives of others can temper selfish inclinations, while setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care can prevent the erosion of personal well-being in the pursuit of fulfilling obligations. Individuals using a point of reference, or value proposition, to reflect and assess this balance can be beneficial, I use the phrase “we are all here to walk each other home” to assist.

The Role of Coaching and Mentoring

Coaching and mentoring play a pivotal role in helping individuals navigate the interplay of selfishness and personal obligation. Coaches guide clients in exploring their values and priorities, fostering self-awareness, and developing strategies to achieve their goals while honoring their responsibilities to others. By acknowledging the complexities of human nature, coaches and mentors can assist individuals in aligning their actions with their ideals.

Conclusion

Selfishness and personal obligation are not diametrically opposed; rather, they coexist in intricate ways, influencing our behaviors and decisions. Embracing a balanced approach that acknowledges the validity of self-interest while honoring commitments to others can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling life. Through introspection, empathy, and guidance from coaches and mentors, individuals can navigate this paradox, harnessing the positive aspects of selfishness while fulfilling their personal obligations to create meaningful and sustainable connections with themselves and others. What is your point of reference

“we are all here to walk each other home” music artist ABC radio (I didn’t get her name)

This article was written with assistance of AI.

Year in review - Mental Health

As the end of the year approaches, I always like to look back and reflecting on all the events, issues and behaviours, consider all my relationships to make sure I am focused on “what I am contributing” rather than “what can I get”, another important “pillar” for me is respect and I like to ponder on my contribution and impact on others. The final piece of my internal review is perspective, are some of the things I am thinking about important? Do they have impact? Am I looking at the right elements to look at?

The last series of exercises I think about are the achievements over the year, what I want to stop doing, what I want to continue doing and what I want to start doing, I find this a really nice process to celebrate the successes and focus on the next year.

During this years reflection I thought landed on a person who I have had a series of conversations with, I know they have had a series of poor mental health events, they have ended up as an inpatient, see qualified practitioners and is striving to lead a balanced life with positive psychological health.

This is not an unremarkable story for many, and as we know, these outcomes can be more prevalent in certain industries. At some stage my friend asked me, due to my background working closely with Injury Management and Mental Health if I thought it could be a good idea to contact his employer to see if they could provide any assistance as he considered his industry background as a contributing factor.

I supported his decision and continue to support him; on a follow up conversation he told me the person he spoke to in the industry accepted what he said, he received a call the next day from his case manage to make contact and get some brief details and the insurer contacted him the following day to let him know his claim would be approved and outlined the process.

I know there are people with extremely poor experiences who enter this process I believe this story should be told because we seldom get the good news stories, upon talking to my friend I am led to believe they did not make a claim initially due to the long stubborn tail of what is referred to as “mental health stigma”, also from the conversation the most powerful message this person told me was it was not about the money or access to services, but it was the way in which the people they dealt with accepted and validated what they said and what they had been going through, just this action has made a profoundly effect.

Next year, lets all think about how we interact with people, be available, really listen and err on the side of belief rather than challenging and scepticism, sure there are system gamers out there but lets support the majority and deal with the minority.